Big Blue Guy.

There's a darn good reason why I put the Dave Gibbon illustration of Dr. Manhattan up instead of the Billy Crudup/ Zack Snyder iteration: the comic version of Watchmen will forever be the ultimate version. No matter how much people hem and haw about how the movie captures "the feel" of the book, there was no possible way that Zack Snyder, of all people, would be able to successfully adapt the most important comic book of all time.

The story of Watchmen takes place in an alternate reality where costumed hero's (and I use the term hero loosely) have changed the course of human events: we see the second shooter on the grassy knoll, Dick Nixon is in fifth term and the Cold War is being held at bay by the all powerful and all apathetic Dr. Manhattan, that blue dude in the picture. After the fascist Comedian (played to the nines by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is thrown out the window of his high rise apartment, the equally fascist Rorschach starts to suspect something. I find it interesting that the opening sequence shows many murdered hero's, but they aren't really connected, as they logically might be, to the murder investigation.

Rorschach is the lynch pin of the narrative, which is told through voice over as if read from a journal. This is too bad, because Jackie Earle Haley, the actor playing Rorschach, gruffs up his voice so much it reminded me of the rottweiler bark of Christian Bale in The Dark Knight. The casting is almost perfect though, as each of the actors looks startlingly like their printed alter-egos. Billy Crudup, as the demigod Dr. Manhattan, has the hardest job of all trying to express deep detachment from humanity while not actually being in the film. His part is all done digitally from motion capture nodes attached to his body. Being the able actor he is, though, he knocks it out of the park, while Matthew Goode's megalomaniac Ozymandias is equally separated from humanity, but in a different way. Patrick Wilson as the Nite Owl though is the true heart of this film: he's strong, he's tough, but most importantly, he's human. The only person that really falls flat is Malin Ackerman as the Silk Spectre II, who I'm pretty sure was cast because she looks so much like Laurie Jupiter from the comic.

Acting aside, this movie is mostly a failure. I cannot give credit to Snyder for making a panel for panel reconstruction of a comic because it takes NO FRIGGIN TALENT! This is the same stunt he pulled with 300 where he put actors in front a green screen and said "go." That's not directing, Zack, that's editing. At least here he has real sets and real camera movement and real environments. Snyder has also played one too many Max Payne video games and seen The Matrix a couple of times because, really, too much damn slow motion action. I have to give him credit though, he knew what at least 70% of his audience wanted, and that was a real people, moving version of the comic. It sure is pretty though.

There are going to be comparisons to The Dark Knight because each work takes the superhero mentality to a new place. Watchmen is going to lose this battle for two reasons: 1) Heath Ledger's performance is impossible to top in a comic book movie, and 2) there is not an original bone is Zack Snyder's body. As an intellectual property, Watchmen wins hands down because without the comic, there would not be the angst you see today in most hero's; hell, there probably wouldn't be a Wolverine. If you haven't read the comic yet, see the film because it is entertaining. If you've read the comic, expect righteous anger at the reverent treatment. Snyder has made a Golden Bull and people are worshiping it.

Grade: 2.5 out of 5.